Why you need to help your child build self esteem?

Self esteem or self confidence is one of basic skills which play an important role in the life of a person. This basic skill is nourished and developed from the early childhood and parents plus teachers can help build self esteem among children. As a parent or a teacher, you have a great influence over the self-esteem of your child.

What is self esteem?

Self-esteem refers to how you feel about yourself. It includes such things as your self-confidence, self-respect, pride in yourself, your independence and your self-reliance. All the ways you feel about yourself and your abilities are wrapped up in the term "self-esteem".

In general, the more positive your self-esteem, the more successful you will be at dealing with life. The same holds for your children. The more positive their self-esteem, the more confident and proud they will be. They will try harder, be happier and have greater self-respect. They will make friends easier and will be more giving. Children with positive self-esteem are more secure and loving than children with negative self-esteem.

Negative self-esteem is related to low self-confidence, insecurity, underachievement, anxiety, depression, acting-out behavior, sleep problems and being a loner.

Self-esteem is your child's passport to lifetime mental health and social happiness. It's the foundation of a child's well-being and the key to success as an adult. At all ages, how you feel about yourself affects how you act. Think about a time when you were feeling really good about yourself. You probably found it much easier to get along with others and feel good about them.

Factors affecting child self esteem:

* How much the child feels wanted, appreciated and loved
* How your child sees himself, often built from what parents and those close say
* His or her sense of achievement
* How the child relates to others

Self-image is how one perceives oneself:

The child looks in the mirror and likes the person he sees. He looks inside himself and is comfortable with the person he sees. He must think of this self as being someone who can make things happen and who is worthy of love. Parents are the main source of a child's sense of self-worth.
Lack of a good self-image very often leads to behavior problems:

Most of the behavioral problems that I see for counseling come from poor self-worth in parents as well as children. Why is one person a delight to be with, while another always seems to drag you down? How people value themselves, get along with others, perform at school, achieve at work, and relate in marriage, all stem from strength of their self-image.

Healthy self-worth doesn't mean being narcissistic or arrogant; it means having a realistic understanding of one's strengths and weaknesses, enjoying the strengths and working on the problem areas. Because there is such a strong parallel between how a person feels about himself and how a person acts, helping your child build self-confidence is vital to discipline.

Throughout life your child will be exposed to positive influences builders and negative influences breakers. Parents can expose their child to more builders and help him work through the breakers.

Useful links:

* Building Your Child's Self Esteem

* 12 ways to help your child build self confidence

* 16 Techniques For Parents And Teachers

How to empower your child's self esteem?

Healthy promotion of self esteem skill among children is very important as it can help them grow as a positive and confident personality. This article would be helpful for parents and teachers to help learn this very essential life skill for their children. There are many techniques and tips which are useful to empower and boost the self esteem skill.

Webster's dictionary defines self-esteem as "a confidence and satisfaction in oneself" and self-concept as "the mental image one has of oneself "

Self-esteem is considered to be the overall value that one places on oneself as a person (Harter, 1989), whereas self-concept is viewed as the body of self-knowledge that individuals possess about themselves (Rosenberg, 1986).

When parents and teachers of young children talk about the need for good self-esteem, they usually mean that children should have "good feelings" about themselves. With young children, self-esteem refers to the extent to which they expect to be accepted and valued by the adults and peers who are important to them. During their early years, young children's self-esteem is based largely on their perceptions of how the important adults in their lives judge them. The extent to which children believe they have the characteristics valued by the important adults and peers in their lives figures greatly in the development of self-esteem. For example, in families and communities that value athletic ability highly, children who excel in athletics are likely to have a high level of self-esteem, whereas children who are less athletic or who are criticized as being physically inept or clumsy are likely to suffer from low self-esteem.

Children and teenagers with low self esteem will display a variety of traits, including:

- Being easily influenced by advertising or others.
- Avoiding new challenges for fear of failure.
- Becoming frustrated easily by setbacks.
- Blaming others when activities are unsuccessful.
- Disbelieving that (s)he has any talents or special abilities.
- Feeling unloved.

Children and teenagers with a high level of self esteem and strong feelings of self worth will also display stereotypical traits, such as:
- Welcoming new challenges.
- Tolerating frustration.
- Taking responsibility for unsuccessful ventures.
- Recognising and sharing his/her talents and special abilities.
- Feeling loved, and loving others in return.

While many children develop self esteem as they grow, for some children self esteem must be nurtured and tended. Parents and teachers can help the children develop this life skill by adopting few simple tips and techniques. Parents are at the front line of promoting children's self esteem, and while often their opinion is enough to make even the littlest chest swell with pride.

Be loving with your child, giving hugs and kisses regardless of achievements.
Help your child set realistic, attainable goals.
Praise your child for the effort, not for the outcome.
Avoid criticising your child's performance at a given task, and instead praise his/her enthusiasm or imagination.
Encourage your child to engage in activities due to interest, not ability.
Do not tolerate self criticism from your child. Help him/her focus on positive points.
Lead by example. Do not criticise yourself in front of your children.
Foster a caring environment at home by dispelling sibling rivalry.

Sources: Developing Self Esteem

Debbie Mandal at 'Bella Online' who si a stress management editor suggests these tips to boost child's self esteem:

* Exercise: Children need to be active to relieve stress hormones and sharpen learning ability which improves by 20% after exercise. Athletics, teams, dance classes and one-on-one sports training create empowerment by literally strengthening both the body and the mind.

* Healthy eating: If you want children to think highly of themselves, make sure that they eat quality foods, not junk. Food and mood are connected. A rainbow array of fruits and vegetables create sunny dispositions. Lean proteins promote academic success. Whole grains help manage stress.

* Guiding children to pick a creative hobby: Nurture their creativity. Nothing boosts self-esteem like developing a creative gift which might range from cooking and constructing to singing and writing. Through creativity children can tangibly identify and observe their uniqueness. “Look what I did.”

* Carving out private time: Children are overscheduled and over-stimulated. They need quality, private time to explore and find their own way to reset their natural rhythm. You don’t have to constantly amuse them when they say, “I’m bored.”

* Give them responsibilities and chores: Even if you have a nanny or a housekeeper, children need to do chores. Contributing to the household gives them structure and accountability which creates personal pride. Small children can help set the table or pick up their toys.

* Humor: Laughter breaks negativity instantly. Show your children how to reduce and reinterpret those “little disasters” with a comic eye. Children who have a sense of humor are magnets for positive social relationships.


Related articles: How Can We Strengthen Children's Self-Esteem?